Saturday, November 21, 2015

Patrick's Diary - 11/20/2015

Dropping the check for November Due for my rental townhouse, I went through I-5 to go to work. Since I left home at 6:30 am, I had tons of time to have breakfast at Burger King today. Towards to the end of my breakfast, I saw the gent who talked to me one or two months ago on a Friday morning there ordered his breakfast and picked it up when his name was called. So I know his name now. However, I was about to leave and he didn't look at the direction of where I sat, why bother? By the way, I checked out on Zillow the current Zstimated price of my rental townhouse drops to 238K. 
My business partner back in 90s whom I mentioned yesterday in my diary is actually 16 years senior if I remember correctly, maybe 15. He has retired and focuses on looking after his daughter whom is in high school because his wife, whom actually is my schoolmate in high school but not in the same class, is still working. He probably enjoys his life very much and sends me several jokes today through WeChat. One of them was pretty funny. The title of it in English may be: Don't treat these porn but philosophy of life:

Miss Zhao became General's Zhang's mistress at the age of 16. If the relationship only last several years, it could have been just a cheat but they lived together for 72 years, it became a great love. The conclusion is no matter what you do, how long you keep doing it does matter.
If famous prostitute Feng Xian in 100 years ago in China had fallen into love with a migrant worker, she would have been treated as a criminal; But she got into a relationship with General Cai, her name has been remembered gracefully; If she had been tied with Sun Yat-Sen, she would have become the First Lady. The conclusion is no matter what you do, for whom you do does matter.
A public women bathhouse got into fire, every naked woman rushed out to the street. A senior gent shouted: "Cover yourself by hands!" All naked women were just embarrassed. Everyone only had two hands to cover three private parts. No one was able to do it. The senior shouted again:"Covering your faces is enough cause underneath is all the same!" The conclusion is that it is impossible to cover everything in many special circumstances, you should focus on important things. However, I just tested that those ladies could use one entire arm to cover breasts and another hand to cover down below.
A girl reported to police that a handsome boy stole her wallet hidden in her bra in a subway train. The cop was confused to ask: "Did you feel it on such a sensitive part of your body?" The girl became so shy to answer: "How could I know he was pulling the wallet?" The conclusion is that it is the best business model to steal customers' money while having them enjoying the experiences of the transactions without knowing your intentions.
Gathering several rogues to collect protection fees is a leading gangster; Zhu Yuanzhang organized several millions people to take over the country to make him the first Emperor of Ming Dynasty; Queen Wu slept with her Father-in-Law and then her stepson, which were incests. However, because what she did were so significant and impactful, she became the first Empress in Chinese History. The conclusion is no matter what evil you are, being the worst one does matter.
A note was posted above the urinals in men's room at a corporation: "Step up a little, Civilization a lot." Employees still pissed on the floor a lot. The management learned the lesson and rephrased: "Not being able to reach the urinal presents your shortness; Pissing out of the urinal presents your softness." Then the floor became crashingly clean. The conclusion is that advice given to your investment clients must be detailed, precise and relevant. 

One day, a woman said very imposingly: "President Wang, I am pregnant." President Wang kept reviewing the reports while saying with slightly smile:"I am ligated." The woman paused a second, then flatteringly smiled: "I was joking." President Wang raised his head to glance her a second, sipped the tea, then closed the conversation: "Me too." The conclusion is that encountering the chaos in a complicated, colorful world requires you being calm and cool. You must be patient to wait to the end. 

Men went to a woman's home to ask the permission for marriage. Her parents asked them to introduce themselves first. Man A bragged: "I have 10 million yuans." Man B bragged: "I have a luxury mansion worth 20 million yuans." Parents were very satisfied, then asked Man C:"What do you own?" Man C replied: "I have nothing but my child in your daughter's womb."The other two men were silent to leave. The conclusion is core competitiveness is not money and house but your own buddy in core position. 

A man didn't want to go to Tibet to support the development due to poor living standards, so he lied that he was blind. Management heard it, then presented a naked beauty to stand in front of him and asked:"Can you see anything?" The man replied:"No." The management kicked his ass immediately: "Son of a bitch, Dick already erected, can't you still see? Go packing today, then going to Tibet tomorrow." The conclusions are: You can't hide from human nature; Organizations are smarter than you; Your basic instinct can sell you out。
Others may not understand these because many of these are deeply rooted with Chinese cultures, good or bad. Another factor can be my translations being dry. 

However, Tibet is no longer a poor place to live as I heard, so this is a joke. 

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